I must admit to having binge watched “The Last Kingdom” on Netflix, it was a great escape over the last few months coupled with a history lesson of sorts, probably not a true reflection but hey it was great TV. It also got me thinking about inner strength and courage.
Anyway when we think of Warriors we tend to think of fighting in a battle, I believe this can be likened to the internal battle we often have in our heads on a day to day basis.
It takes courage to look deep within ourselves to find that inner warrior, to find the inner strength to get through challenging situations.
So what is our inner warrior? Its that thing inside us that tells us we can do this, that we’ve got this and that we can be strong and show courage.
Your inner warrior lets you feel empowered and brave.
Being brave can be big things such as starting a new job, taking your driving test or going on that scary rollercoaster but it can also be getting out of bed in the morning, making that phone call that you know needs to be made or saying No to someone, bravery is different for everyone, but to do those things we need to find our inner warrior and do them.
Finding your inner warrior will help you grow in confidence, feel stronger and feel more able to deal with the world, it will defend you against your inner critic, it will banish negative thinking and will help you celebrate your victories.
So how can we move towards finding that inner warrior?
Recognise that everyone has strengths and weaknesses, the inner critic focuses on the weaknesses whilst the inner warrior focuses on the strengths, by overthrowing the inner critic and celebrating the victories we can turn down the volume on the inner critic.
Recognising your personal victories, looking at the things you’ve done that make you feel proud and remembering your achievements will all help the inner warrior rise. Tell yourself you are proud of yourself, find something in the day that you are proud of, it doesn’t have to be the big things like getting a job offer or beating your personal best in something, but hey if that happens then celebrate that victory big time, but just getting through the day without crying or speaking to the cashier in the shop, anything that makes you feel proud, grab it, hold onto it and celebrate it.
Allow yourself to be proud of you.
My new favourite word is EMPOWERMENT, I want everyone to feel strong and confident within themselves, its not an overnight transformation, it takes time to change the workings and patterns within our brains.
Our inner warrior is waiting to be called up for action, it may have been on leave for a while but its time for it to get back to work and start earning its keep.
The inner critic is desperately waiting for its holiday, it doesn’t like keeping you in your negative mindset but you keep paying it so it dutifully stays.
Start listening to the warrior, do something today to make yourself feel proud, get out for a walk, make that phone call, choose healthy over the chocolate biscuits or clear out that cupboard that doesn’t even shut properly anymore! and see how good it feels when you accept those feelings of pride and achievement, practising this on a daily basis will help the inner warrior grow.
And if you fancy watching Viking Warriors I can highly recommend the Last Kingdom!
Do you ever feel like you are a hamster in a wheel?
Running furiously but not seeming to get anywhere?
Feeling like this can not be it, FOREVER.
Sometimes life can overtake us and we end up being in situations that we just didn’t sign up for or choose. We can relate this to our private life, work life and social life, sometimes things just get too much and we cant see an end in sight.
The more we continue on this path the more we feel frustrated, angry, sad, depressed or anxious.
We struggle to think clearly, we find it hard to make decisions, we take on more and more of the things we don’t want to do and we end up feeling overwhelmed and one of two things happen, we change or we burn out.
STOP THE WHEEL I WANT TO GET OFF!
Stopping the wheel and taking the time to reflect, talk, make decisions and find your way can seem like an impossible task, it isn’t.
Mindset coaching works with you at your pace to support you to make the choices you need to make to start enjoying life again.
Making changes that have a positive impact on your life, for example:
Are you the sort of person who struggles to say no to people?
You take on more and more when really you know you cant keep up with it all.
We are taught from a young age to try and be helpful and to do things for others, to not be selfish, it is built into our values.
What we aren’t taught is self-care, the need to look after ourselves, the fact that taking time for us is not selfish, it is necessary to ensure we can keep looking after others, whilst still looking after ourselves.
We can still be that helpful person but we will be doing it for different reasons, because we choose to not because we couldn’t say No.
Having the confidence to say no to things we know we can’t do, shouldn’t do or genuinely don’t want to do can help slow the hamster wheel down.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy and Mindset Coaching give you the tools to make decisions for you, it gives you an understanding of how your brain works and why it works in certain ways, most of all it gives you time to get off the hamster wheel and look at your life from a different perspective.
If you feel like you or anyone you know could benefit from getting off the hamster wheel then please get in touch, I offer a free initial consultation where we can discuss how I can help you move forward to live the life you choose.
Anxiety, we talk about it all the time, but what is it?
Anxiety is a primitive response to a perceived threat or dangerous situation.
That all sounds relatively straight forward, right? We all know if we saw a tiger in the street we would feel pretty anxious, we would be scared, unsure what to do and our body would do one of three things, we would fight, flight (run) or freeze (stayed glued to the spot terrified).
Most people are aware of fight or flight, its spoken about a lot in terms of anxiety and depression, BUT why do we have these responses?
Well its an inbuilt mechanism that we have virtually no control over, its part of our primitive brain and its main function is survival. The primitive brain is massively important to our survival and we need it, what we don’t need is it being in control every day and taking over our lives.
Anxiety is our bodies way of alerting us to danger, we all recognise the sweaty palms, heart racing, stomach churning responses we have to certain things, it could be something like a spider or it could be something like public speaking or worst case scenario it’s something that actually could hurt or harm us.
Over time as a species our brain has developed beyond that of our cavemen ancestors and with it we have developed, rational logical thinking, we have an intellectual mind that allows us to interact with the world in a positive way. When we operate from this part of the brain we make assessments of situations and its generally pretty positive.
For example if we have to public speak and its not something our primitive mind sees as dangerous we get on with it, we do it and we move on, rational logical intellectual brain in control, BUT If public speaking is something that terrifies us then our primitive anxious brain steps in and we get all those overwhelming anxiety feelings and we want to run away and definitely not get up and speak, there's no real threat so its not logical as it cant actually harm us in any way.
Why can some people do it easily and others not? Its all to do with previous patterns in our brain, templates our primitive brain looks to when it needs to know what to do.
When we see the tiger quite rightly our primitive brain takes over sees danger and we run away, logical.
Another example of this is spiders, when you were a baby you were not scared of spiders, no one is, but if you are scared of spiders now then your brain has learnt overtime that spiders are dangerous creatures that you don’t like. Not logical.
Luckily for us we can unlearn this anxious response to certain situations, not the big terrifying life threatening ones involving tigers!, (we need those) but the ones that are actually stopping you moving forward with your life. The ones that stop you picking up the phone, making a zoom call or going outside to socialise, the ones that aren’t life threatening but for some reason your primitive brain has decided that they are very scary things to do, so you don’t do them.
There may be no obvious reason for this onset of anxiety in regards to living life the way you want to, it can just be a gradual build up of “stuff” life throws things at us and we deal with it but sometimes we don’t actually process it, we just move on to the next day and gradually all that stuff becomes bigger and bigger and our brains slip into primitive mode more and more often.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy helps the individual get intellectual control back, it helps stop the noise in our heads telling us there is danger everywhere and it allows us to take back our lives.
My new laptop arrived yesterday, very exciting but also quite daunting as me and technology sometimes struggle being friends!
I think I’ve worked it all out and set it up correctly but it took a few hours of frustration and will power to get it sorted.
It got me thinking, this brand new computer is completely empty - except for some random things its transferred across from my Microsoft account that to be honest must have been sitting in a “drive” that I’d completely forgotten about and never used, all the important stuff somehow hasn’t transferred across, typical!
Anyway it got me thinking about how we fill our laptops, phones, I pads etc with stuff, some of it important, some of it completely random and some of it useless.
We all know how it feels when technology is slowing down, the frustration we feel when the page takes ages to load, the picture downloads so slowly you could make a cup of tea while you wait or you are looking for something specific but you are wading through loads of other stuff to find it.
Over time as the computer gets older and slows down so we decide we need to upgrade to a faster more suitable model for our day to day use, one that meets our needs for todays lifestyle, one that isn’t completely full of past information.
Now some of that information is vital and we want to transfer that to the new computer but some of it is just slowing us down without really serving a purpose, we need to refresh the system, clear the history and create a new set of files.
Can you see where I’m going with this???
Our brains are far more advanced than any computer and they can’t be replaced but they can be rebooted and refreshed.
The hippocampus acts as a library for all our information and our brain uses this to find patterns in our browsing history, if what we did yesterday kept us alive then when we search for that information today it will encourage us to do the same thing, even if that thing isn’t the best outcome for us.
For example, You know you should get out and meet your friends for coffee but yesterday your brain decided it was too much effort and too risky and too much hassle and maybe a little bit too scary. When you search for the answer to the question of meeting your friends today you friendly hippocampus will give you the same information as it believes it’s the best outcome for you, its like its taken out a Google AD and this answer is the one that is at the forefront of your google search.
As this answer is top of the list it’s the most obvious one for you to see, so it’s the one you click on, you stay in and don’t meet your friends.
Solution Focused Hypnotherapy supports you to change those patterns and restructure the way your options are listed, going out for coffee will move slowly up the search engine list until it’s the one you see first and act on.
We all need to reboot and refresh at times in our life, just like getting a new phone, laptop or computer