This morning I was wracking or racking (there's two schools of thought on the correct spelling!) my brains, trying to think of somewhere colourful to get some shots for my website, ideally I'd like it to be outdoors and I'd like the weather to be kind so I'm a bit limited at the moment.
So I'm sitting there thinking and then it dawns on me that my house is pretty colourful, I like big bold statements and I'm not afraid of colour.
In my previous life (before I worked out that being me was perfectly fine} I would have gone with the trends, looked at shops, magazines and other peoples houses and played it safe, there is absolutely nothing wrong with this but I knew it wasn't really getting me in the heart, the place I needed it to matter, I wanted to walk in a room and smile.
My house is not to everyone's taste,
but here's the beauty,
It doesn't have to be !
When I look around I smile, I make lots of the things in my house from bits and pieces I find that I love, most are second hand or unwanted, nothing costs a lot but they are valuable to me.
When I walk into my bathroom even on a gloomy day I smile, I feel happy, I know that I created it and I am pleased with the result, who doesn't want peacocks in their bathroom !!!
Surround yourself with things that make you happy, who cares if they don't match or they aren't "on trend", who cares if you are the only person that loves it, its fine, this is your life, fill it with YOU.
Wear that dress/ jumper/ coat that you bought when you were feeling brave, wear it and feel amazing, show the world who you are.
You will be astonished at how many people will actually wish they were brave enough to do the same.
Decorate your house with things you love and cherish, you will feel a little glow of fuzziness inside every time you walk in the room.
Make something, paint something, create something even if its a digital image that you can look at when you need a boost.
I'm creating a vision board at the moment, its like a mood board but for business, I'm filling it with things that inspire me, its purely digital at the moment but I cant wait to get the scissors and glue out and start making a real one.
Be you, even just a little bit, and see how good it feels to not follow the trend or feel the need to be the same as everyone else.
What’s stopping you?
I can tell you one of the answers is probably your mindset.
When things seem tricky or a bit too difficult or a little bit scary, we tend to just think its not for us or maybe another day, we procrastinate or we say no straight away.
There are two things going on here:
Option 2 is the one I’m interested in with todays blog, the option that if you had more confidence in yourself or more inner strength you would jump at the opportunity BUT because of that little annoying voice saying you can’t do it, you don’t.
For example, you’ve been working at the same job for years, you go to work every day, you get through the day, you earn enough money to keep everything ticking over, it’s a very SAFE option but it doesn’t actually make you happy. You are browsing through some job adverts and your dream job pops up, BRILLIANT, this is it, this is the job that I want to do.
What happens next is one of two things, you dismiss the advert, I can’t do that, they wouldn’t want me, I’m not sure I’m even suitable etc etc, your inner critic, your primitive survival brain talks you out of applying before you’ve even really had chance to look at the application form.
Why does it do this?
Well your primitive brain doesn’t like change and your inner critic works alongside your brain to make sure you don’t rock the boat. The last thing your primitive brain wants is for you to move away from safe, even if safe doesn’t make you happy.
The only purpose of your primitive brain is to keep you alive, back in the days of cavemen when we hadn’t evolved and only had primitive brains, doing something differently meant possible death from wild animals, other tribes etc, so it liked things to stay the same as that meant food, warmth, and staying alive. In today’s society we don’t have the same dangers but our brains have been programmed to see change as dangerous, so we are encourage to avoid it all cost.
If we look at it from a rational brain (evolved brain) view point we know there is no real danger in applying for a job but if we are living in our primitive brains through a build up of anxiety, stress or depression the rational brain doesn’t really get a look in.
The second option is you take a leap of faith and you apply for the job, you overcome the primitive brain, rationally you know that the worst thing that could happen is you don’t get the job, BUT you also recognise that you might get the job and you recognise that this could be the turning point in your life when you start to enjoy working and living again.
Looking at this in terms of a job change is a big step for anybody but it is possible as people do it all the time. We can liken this to other situations such as joining a social group or signing up at the gym, or even getting out for a walk, we really want to do them but that voice is saying no not today, maybe tomorrow, take control of that voice, make that move, take a leap of faith and surprise yourself at your inner strength and confidence, it is in there and its waiting to be utilised.
So when we look at the title again and ask “WHAT’S STOPPING YOU” it’s your primitive mind, your primitive mind is shouting louder than your rational one.
Learning to take control of that mind and regain intellectual rational control is the focal point of Solution Focused Hypnotherapy.
I can already hear the first critical voice “ Its lock-down I can’t do anything so I will just wait till December” NO!!! Get looking on the internet, get thinking about what you can do and get yourself a plan. Having a goal or a plan is a definite positive for our brain, it likes to know where it is going.
If you feel that you or someone you know could benefit from taking control of their mind, then please do get in touch for a free initial consultation.